Location: West Coast, United States

I have 2 beautiful daughters, 20 and 22. I just returned from long term treatment after many failed attempts to gain long term sobriety again. I am ready to share and listen and believe again.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Wow, whoa, hello

It's been a very long time.....I forgot how much I miss this sight. I did veture out to a few other recovery sights. The first one was, well.....an experience to say the least.
The second one I found is a real recovery oriented, fairly new sight that has or is trying to start some online meetings. It has a few bugs but it's really neat to see people taking the time to start it. There is recovery there.

My personal interest in looking for online meetings is not so positive. At least for me right now. I am ill, with what I don't know, and I have lost all faith, or what I even had to begin with, in our medical system and the inhumane humans involved. Without alot of detail, I got out of treatment and began to really take care of myself on that phyiscal level we fail to find important in our drinking. Started physical therapy for my lower back.

Very quickly I began to have pain. My hands had been hurting some, blamed it on old age and overabuse. (My dad said hard work makes a person, he was my idol and I overdid it all my life. I am paying for that, and am accepting of life's every day aches and pains, but that is where the similarity stopped in it's tracks)

My shoulders feel like they both have bersitis, my knees and legs ache constantly. My hands work when they want, which is never in the morning and sometimes later in the day. I have been waiting 9-10 weeks to see a specialist referred by my specialist.
That brought me to online meetings. Isolation is one of my worst charcter defects, and now I can barely leave the house a few times a week. So I reached out.
I have no sponsor, but am so anxious to work the steps again for the first time.
I have made alot of effort to get to know women in the program and get a sponsor. I still don't have one, and no real "friends" except for my roomate.
When I came back to check in, I saw my last blog and some anti AA guy that sabatoged all my comment area. dAve was the last one I heard from. And of course my dear friend Megan.
Well, I know this is not short, but I am just babbling and updating and if I think too much I will end up deleting it all and perhaps waiting another 3 months and I don't want to do that. Bless all of you, and I thank my HP for the Joe and Charlie tapes, they have been a life saver. Hope to hear from you soon, any input would be welcome.